What movie quotes characterize the October 2019 issue of Golfdom

Seth Jones

I will admit I love dropping a good movie quote into a conversation, even if it’s just for my own amusement. Sometimes the movies I quote are obvious (Caddyshack, Happy Gilmore), and sometimes the quotes are for me only (off the top of my head, Snatch, starring Jason Statham and Brad Pitt and Blue Streak, starring Martin Lawrence and Dave Chappelle). In this month’s cover story, I quote Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory because darn it, it felt appropriate, and yes, I love that movie.

Some journalists might quote Shakespeare or Henry Thoreau in their writing. Sorry, you’ve got me here. I’m just not sophisticated enough to pull that off. But this issue — with a cover story on some fun-loving buddies in Kansas City and a backup feature on how golf course collars might be over-served — calls for some good movie quotes. If I could assign more movie quotes in this issue, here’s how it’d look:

“220, 221 … whatever it takes.” (Mr. Mom) to Carlos Arraya and the new approach he took to keep his staff motivated while in a difficult St. Louis summer (page 12). This line from Michael Keaton, where he’s boasting about a house renovation and gets caught in an awkward ad lib, is what I imagine Arraya felt this summer dealing with his crew. We’ve all been there … at least I know I have.

“Hey, sewer rat might taste like pumpkin pie, but I’ll never know, because I wouldn’t eat the filthy (creature).” (Pulp Fiction) to our backup feature “Sober advice on collar decline” (page 56), written by Curt Harler on the research of Bill Kreuser, Ph.D. Perhaps golf course collars look at PGRs like Samuel L. Jackson’s Jules Winnfield did bacon in Pulp Fiction — a hard pass. Now give him back his wallet. It’s the one that reads …

“Now I have a machine gun. Ho, ho, ho.” (Die Hard) to the entire Early Order Program supplement (which starts immediately after Golfdom Files on page 14), made possible by our partners and its two authors — Andrew Turnbull and Alan FitzGerald. There’s a lot in this supplement that will empower superintendents when they start making their purchasing decisions heading into 2020 … reminding me of the feeling Bruce Willis as John McClane must have had when he scored that machine gun in Nakatomi Plaza.

“I ain’t got time to bleed.” (Predator) to this month’s research article “Germinating creeping bent in the cold,” (page 64). Jesse Ventura’s portrayal of Blain in Predator goes down as one of the great performances of the 1980s — I won’t debate this — and he dryly makes this statement when his fellow soldier sees he’s been shot and is bleeding. This is the same attitude a superintendent has when recovering from winterkill — there’s no time to ponder the blood (winterkill), only the solution. This research shows some interesting findings in how quickly seed germinates and in what temperatures. Like Poncho responds in the movie, “You got time to duck?”

“We are men of action … lies do not become us.” This line from The Princess Bride is for the guys at Brough Creek National (BCN), the subject of this month’s cover story. Yes, I already gave them one movie quote, but I’ll also give them this one. Many people talk a big game when they get an idea, but never follow through. Like Brandon Horvath, Ph.D., University of Tennessee, said to me while we were discussing BCN, “How many guys do you know who say, ‘I want to build a golf green.’ So, you tell them, ‘OK, go buy a greens mower.’ And they say, ‘Wait, my lawn mower can’t do it?’ And that’s the end of that idea.”

While the crew at BCN lacks most commonalities with Golfdom’s readers, one thing they do share: They, too, are men of action.