Hendren’s Hyperbole! Episode 2 — Stick with the Pool, Dude

By |  January 11, 2011

Welcome back to Hendren’s Hyperbole! I hope everyone’s week was parallel to Jonathan Byrd and not Camilo Villegas. I logged a lot of time last week watching the Hyundai Tournament of Champions. I figured by now, as much golf as is watched in the Hendren household, my wife and daughters would be as huge a fan of watching golf as I am, but no, at least not yet. Let’s be honest, if they’re not fans after over a decade of constant golf watching, it’s probably not going to happen.

Let’s begin this week by taking a closer look at Geoff Ogilvy. Ogilvy is the two-time defending champion of the Hyundai Tournament of Champions (formally the SBS championship). Geoff had to withdraw prior to the start of the tourney Thursday due to a cut on his finger. Apparently he slipped while swimming in the ocean and cut his finger on some coral. A cut that needed twelve stitches to close up. Alright, come on, what the hell is Ogilvy doing in the ocean in the first place? Is he a professional golfer or a professional surfer? He’s not in Hawaii on vacation; he’s on a business trip! If he felt the need to cool off possibly the pool may have been a better option, maybe a cool shower. He is not only going to miss this week’s tournament but reportedly next week’s tournament as well. Here is the kicker; he is going to receive $70,500 for withdrawing. That’s not a typo, $70,500 for essentially flying to Hawaii and cutting his finger.

Now, on to Mr. Villegas, Mr. Camilo Villegas. Everyone knows you are a workout fanatic but here is a tip from me to you. Next time you are riding your bike from Jupiter, Fla. to Orlando to catch a flight to your next tournament (he literally rode his bicycle 80 miles from his home in Jupiter to the Orlando airport and got on a plane to go to a tournament) how’s about downloading a copy of the Rules of Golf on your iPod? Villegas was disqualified before play started on Friday due to turning in a signed, incorrect scorecard Thursday. The problem I have is that the infraction wasn’t caught by Villegas, his caddie, another player, or even the PGA’s vice president of rules. The infraction was called in by a golf rule narc, errrrr, television viewer! WOW! Remind me not to hit up the local muni with that guy! Oh well, I guess this will give Camilo a few more days before next week’s tournament to bang some weights, rip off a few crunches and read the Rules of Golf!

On a couple of lighter notes, Stuart Appleby lost his putter before the start of the tournament. It was found by a Golf Channel employee and returned but not before he bought a $120 putter in the pro shop and played his round Thursday. Isn’t a professional golfer losing his putter like a race car driver losing his keys?

Did anyone see Jason Day hit his tee shot fat by about 6 inches on No. 13 Friday? It was a dribbler off the tee! It reminded me of playing a round with one Mr. Seth Jones. The only difference is Jason still got a par! Golf, I love this game!

That’s it for this week’s addition of Hendren’s Hyperbole! My next entry will be posted from Cozumel, Mexico where I will be on the beach with a cocktail in both hands so I don’t cut either one on any coral!

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2 Comments on "Hendren’s Hyperbole! Episode 2 — Stick with the Pool, Dude"

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  1. Anonymous says:

    Well played Hendren!

    This reads much better when I imagine you’ve had five beers, and are yelling this column at me.

    Enjoy Cozumel too!


  2. That’s actually how he submits them, Neuty. He has about five beers, then calls my cell phone. I don’t answer, then he shouts his rambling, angry, drunken comments.

    What do you know? Type ’em up, it turns into a funny little column!

    Thanks for your comment.