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You might be a turf guy if…

By |  August 5, 2015 0 Comments

Matt-NeffThere are several character traits that are prevalent among people in golf course maintenance. Traits such as a tremendous work ethic, a driven personality, strong observation and problem solving skills, attention to detail and a passion for their work are pretty much standard issue. Along with these admirable qualities, I’ve also noticed several other things over the years that many turf guys have in common. So, to borrow a phrase from Jeff Foxworthy — and this might be the first time anyone has ever wanted to do that — you might be a turf guy if…

…you have two or more weather apps on your phone.

You never know when one of them might say the temp is 90 when it’s really 89. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be to walk around all day thinking it was 90?

…you sometimes get a little annoyed when people are happy about the umpteenth straight hot, sunny, dry weekend.

They know it’s going to be another good weekend to play golf or go fishing but you know it’s going to be a great weekend to drag a hose… again.

…you’ve actually been angry at the weatherman.

Be it for his audacity to give a forecast that is going to ruin your plans for the next day or, worse, for inexcusably giving an incorrect forecast that ends up ruining your plans after said plans have already been enacted.

…you almost cause traffic accidents while rubbernecking as you drive by other golf courses.

I do this all the time and I really need to stop, especially when my kids are riding with me. The problem is I can’t. I’ve tried but it’s an involuntary reflex. I am also easily distracted by really good mowing stripes. I take solace in knowing I’m not alone in my struggle.

…you frequently find yourself driving your car like you do your cart.

Which is to say you’re not completely focused on what’s in front of you. Instead you’re looking in all directions checking everything out as if the DOT or the property owners are awaiting your input on any roadside maintenance or landscaping issues. Moral of the last two points: It’s not safe to ride with me.

…you’ve dreamed of finding a pair of boots that will actually keep your feet dry for an entire season.

They’re made of unicorn skin. They don’t exist — at least not for what I’m willing to pay for them.

…your home lawn is either awesome or terrible.

You have the knowledge, skills and access to the “good stuff,” so why wouldn’t it look good? On the other hand, due to your lack of time, energy or desire to mess with it when you get home, you may have just accepted the fact that your lawn is far from the best on the block. However, I suspect that a lot of turf guys who would tell you that their lawn looks bad are probably being too critical.

…you’ve been asked what you do in the winter approximately 1,000 times.

I realize many of you southern guys don’t often get asked this, but those of us up north spend a lot of time at Christmas parties answering that question. People often seemed surprised to hear how much work goes on in the offseason to make sure everything will be as good as it can be when it’s time to tee it up again.

Most importantly, you might be a turf guy if you can’t imagine doing anything else.

Despite all of the challenges that come with maintaining turf at a high level, there isn’t anything else you’d rather do. If there’s one thing that the vast majority of people in this business seem to have, it’s the belief that this might be the greatest profession on earth.

This is posted in Columns

About the Author: Matt Neff

Matt Neff is the assistant golf course superintendent at Wedgewood Golf & Country Club in Powell, OH. He is a graduate of Malone College in Canton, Ohio, and obtained his turfgrass science degree from The Ohio State University. He has been writing for Golfdom since 2013.


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