A few of my least favorite things

It really is hard to complain about our jobs. Sure, this profession has moments that might make you think you’d rather being doing anything else at that particular time, but that’s always a fleeting feeling. After the dust settles from a difficult situation, you remember how awesome this job is and, even with the occasional bumps in the road, having a golf course for an office is hard, if not impossible, to beat.

A lot of times it’s not the big problems that get under your skin, because in those situations you immediately shift into problem-solving mode and get it resolved without wasting the time to get fired up about it. It’s the little pet peeves that can drive you crazy.

I’ve heard that by sharing things that annoy you with others, you might begin to understand how ridiculous it is to let them bother you. With that in mind, I’ll go first. Think of it as group therapy for turf guys.

Kinked hoses

As we all know, this only happens for one of two reasons. Either the universe hates you or someone messed with your hose while you were eating lunch. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you basically threw the whole thing into the back of your cart in one shot so you could move out of the way of the foursome getting ready to tee off.

Broken equipment put away without notifying mechanic

Who cares if, by telling the mechanic about it, you risk him firing a few wrenches in your general direction. He doesn’t mean anything by it, and if you’ve seen the movie Dodgeball you know all it’s going to do is improve your game.

Equipment not fueled

It’s happened to everybody. You jump on a piece of equipment first thing in the morning all charged up to get after it, only to look down at the fuel gauge and see it’s almost empty. Apparently, staying until 3:01 to fuel it up the day before was just not in the cards for the previous operator.

Stuck dew whips

How is this even possible? Seriously.

The Mafia effect

You know how in Mafia movies no one knows anything about the 5-minute shoot-out in the middle of the street in broad daylight? It’s amazing how the same type of thing can happen when a tractor comes in with a hole in the radiator.

Cottonwood trees

It’s like God let one of his buddies make a tree, and this is what happened. Since he’s God, he had to be cool about it, but I think we all know He’d probably like to have that one back. Needless to say, that guy has been on snowflake design duty ever since. If you don’t have cottonwoods on your course, feel free to substitute the messiest junk tree you deal with.

Geese

I hesitate to even mention them because I don’t want to give them any more publicity than is necessary. Is it ridiculous to actually be concerned about giving geese pub? Maybe, but I absolutely loathe them.

Leaving something you need in the shop

If you’re anything like me, this only happens when you’re heading to the farthest point on the course from the shop. I have almost superhuman memory when I’m heading somewhere within 30 seconds of the shop, but if I’m heading out to the back 40 to replace a sprinkler solenoid, even odds I’m heading out without the wire strippers.

Wow — that was cathartic. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. And for the record, I was only kidding about God needing a do-over on cottonwoods. But just in case, I will be nowhere near one the next time there’s a storm approaching.