Hendren’s Hyperbole: No Shame in Turf

Question of the day: What do funeral services, weather forecasting and golf course and turfgrass management have in common?

According to an article written by Greg Voakes on www.guyism.com, they are the top online bachelor degree programs you should be ashamed of.

Thanks a pant load Gregg. Good lookin’ out! Where does writing brutal, idiotic articles for a smut online magazine rate on your list? What, an article on 101 ways to please your woman or 30 days to great abs was already taken?

I am glad I dropped a lot of cash and time EARNING a degree I could be ashamed of. What a joke. This is what Greg had to say about a golf course and turfgrass management degree. “Golf course and turfgrass management sounds like the most boring online bachelor program ever. If you yearn literally to watch grass grow, deal with old rich people who smell funny and have bad attitudes, and water/mow the lawn, this is definitely for you.”

The really bad thing about this article is that people really feel this way about our industry. For example, about ten years ago I was at my wife’s work Christmas party when I found myself ditched by my wife, so I was stuck carrying on a conversation with the spouse of one of her coworkers — you know, the worst possible Christmas party scenario. During the conversation the guy asks me what I do for a living and I tell him I’m a golf course superintendent.

Following my response he asked me why I didn’t go to college. I told him I did and he asked me what my degree was in. After I told him my degree was in turgrass management he laughed and asked me why I didn’t just get a degree in basket weaving. True story.

I am not sure who people like Greg Voakes and the idiot at the Christmas party think takes care of a golf course. Greens don’t mow themselves. Fungicide and fertilizer applications don’t just magically happen. The bottom line is that regardless of what people think I couldn’t be further from ashamed about my choice of degree. If I had it all to do over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. Golf course maintenance is now and will forever be part of me. I am golf course maintenance.

— Matt Hendren