Hendren’s Hyperbole! Episode 2 — Stick with the Pool, Dude

Welcome back to Hendren’s Hyperbole! I hope everyone’s week was parallel to Jonathan Byrd and not Camilo Villegas. I logged a lot of time last week watching the Hyundai Tournament of Champions. I figured by now, as much golf as is watched in the Hendren household, my wife and daughters would be as huge a fan of watching golf as I am, but no, at least not yet. Let’s be honest, if they’re not fans after over a decade of constant golf watching, it’s probably not going to happen.

Let’s begin this week by taking a closer look at Geoff Ogilvy. Ogilvy is the two-time defending champion of the Hyundai Tournament of Champions (formally the SBS championship). Geoff had to withdraw prior to the start of the tourney Thursday due to a cut on his finger. Apparently he slipped while swimming in the ocean and cut his finger on some coral. A cut that needed twelve stitches to close up. Alright, come on, what the hell is Ogilvy doing in the ocean in the first place? Is he a professional golfer or a professional surfer? He’s not in Hawaii on vacation; he’s on a business trip! If he felt the need to cool off possibly the pool may have been a better option, maybe a cool shower. He is not only going to miss this week’s tournament but reportedly next week’s tournament as well. Here is the kicker; he is going to receive $70,500 for withdrawing. That’s not a typo, $70,500 for essentially flying to Hawaii and cutting his finger.

Now, on to Mr. Villegas, Mr. Camilo Villegas. Everyone knows you are a workout fanatic but here is a tip from me to you. Next time you are riding your bike from Jupiter, Fla. to Orlando to catch a flight to your next tournament (he literally rode his bicycle 80 miles from his home in Jupiter to the Orlando airport and got on a plane to go to a tournament) how’s about downloading a copy of the Rules of Golf on your iPod? Villegas was disqualified before play started on Friday due to turning in a signed, incorrect scorecard Thursday. The problem I have is that the infraction wasn’t caught by Villegas, his caddie, another player, or even the PGA’s vice president of rules. The infraction was called in by a golf rule narc, errrrr, television viewer! WOW! Remind me not to hit up the local muni with that guy! Oh well, I guess this will give Camilo a few more days before next week’s tournament to bang some weights, rip off a few crunches and read the Rules of Golf!

On a couple of lighter notes, Stuart Appleby lost his putter before the start of the tournament. It was found by a Golf Channel employee and returned but not before he bought a $120 putter in the pro shop and played his round Thursday. Isn’t a professional golfer losing his putter like a race car driver losing his keys?

Did anyone see Jason Day hit his tee shot fat by about 6 inches on No. 13 Friday? It was a dribbler off the tee! It reminded me of playing a round with one Mr. Seth Jones. The only difference is Jason still got a par! Golf, I love this game!

That’s it for this week’s addition of Hendren’s Hyperbole! My next entry will be posted from Cozumel, Mexico where I will be on the beach with a cocktail in both hands so I don’t cut either one on any coral!