Great! Now they’re after our balls!

By |  April 20, 2011

The brave new world of golf course industry criticism has taken a new turn. I just heard on NPR’s “Sunday Morning Edition” (There really is nothing more intellectually stimulating on the radio around here! Sad, but true!) that there is a professor from the University of Maine who has made a biodegradable golf ball.

The current construction of a golf ball makes it resist decay… so this new ball will be made out of crustacean shells that will allow for more rapid decomposition.

Now it’s not all of golf’s senseless water usage, excessive use of chemicals or our abuse of fertilizers, but our golf balls are destroying the environment as well! I never saw this threat coming, but I understand. I mean, all those hackers at Pebble Beach, Cypress Point and the multitude of seaside courses around the world are slowly displacing the oceanic water! This is certainly going to cause some sort of water level rise that will only compound the damage that is being created from the arctic ice caps melting. And inland waterways are being negatively affected in the same way, causing more flooding problems!

I never knew that our game was so dangerous to not only passing cars but also the entire human civilization!

Everyone reading this should gather that it is written tongue-in-cheek, but really… WHAT IS NEXT?

— Chris Sorrell, superintendent, Eagles Ridge GC, Curwensville, Pa.

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